We just welcomed Addison to our family January 23rd. On that day, the dynamic of our family changed more drastically than I ever expected. I spent the nine months prior to Addison's birth at home taking care of our three girls while I looked for work. I felt that I took on this role well and did a great job of juggling the need to clean, play with the girls, and run them around to all of their activities. Suddenly, I am now faced with a 5 year old (Chloe), 4 year old (Annalise), 16 month old (Jilliana), and 6 week old (Addison) and feel the panic slowly creep into my soul. Chloe and Annalise are such good girls and want desperately to help sometimes to a fault. Jilliana is pissed and wants to take out her aggression on the baby. People (mainly women) tell me that I should enjoy every minute because they will grow up all too soon. I secretly want to hold them under water. Just for a minute or so. Just until they panic a little. To be honest, there are moments where I hide in my closet while I hyperventilate.
Once I entered the realm of parenthood, I found a whole new world of judgmental jerks. I don't drive a new enough van, which means that my children are obviously not as safe as New Every Five Year dad. I don't feed my kids as healthy as the woman who I'm convinced has figured out a way to hypnotize her children. I must be a terrible parent because I can’t figure out how to calmly give them appropriate consequences in real time for every single act of terrorism that they so creatively devise.
Sometimes, I'm just so happy that I get to go to work. Just the other night, I made a horrible mistake making dinner and so we went to Chik-fil-a for a drive through meal. The next morning as I'm taking Chloe to School, I notice Jilliana eating a nugget that she hid away. Yeah, I'm that parent. I'm sure it will get easier. I'm sure I will build a tolerance. But that day isn't today. I need to ride... or work... or scream...
On the flip side, I do have the cutest kids in the world.
Once I entered the realm of parenthood, I found a whole new world of judgmental jerks. I don't drive a new enough van, which means that my children are obviously not as safe as New Every Five Year dad. I don't feed my kids as healthy as the woman who I'm convinced has figured out a way to hypnotize her children. I must be a terrible parent because I can’t figure out how to calmly give them appropriate consequences in real time for every single act of terrorism that they so creatively devise.
Sometimes, I'm just so happy that I get to go to work. Just the other night, I made a horrible mistake making dinner and so we went to Chik-fil-a for a drive through meal. The next morning as I'm taking Chloe to School, I notice Jilliana eating a nugget that she hid away. Yeah, I'm that parent. I'm sure it will get easier. I'm sure I will build a tolerance. But that day isn't today. I need to ride... or work... or scream...
On the flip side, I do have the cutest kids in the world.