G
Guest
·The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd. hereby decrees the following as laws and binds all men to them.
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following
Circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a
friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is
forbidden. However, complain at will if the temperature is
unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for
another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is
strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip
bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not
the weakest.
9: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when
you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a
topless model and only if it's free.
10: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you ever
allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
11: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
12: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. EVER. Issue closed.
13: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see
anything.
14: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
15: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
16: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be
talking about the choice of beer in his hand.
17: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
18: When asked what she wants for Christmas, the girl who replies with, "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox, Playstation 3 or season tickets to the University of Oklahoma's next football season. End of story.
19: There is no reason for guys to watch ice skating unless it involves large men beating each other with sticks or men's gymnastics unless the pommel horse is uses as a "pummel" horse. Ever.
SEAN..............
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following
Circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a
friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is
forbidden. However, complain at will if the temperature is
unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for
another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is
strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip
bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not
the weakest.
9: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when
you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a
topless model and only if it's free.
10: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you ever
allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
11: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
12: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. EVER. Issue closed.
13: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see
anything.
14: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
15: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
16: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be
talking about the choice of beer in his hand.
17: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
18: When asked what she wants for Christmas, the girl who replies with, "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox, Playstation 3 or season tickets to the University of Oklahoma's next football season. End of story.
19: There is no reason for guys to watch ice skating unless it involves large men beating each other with sticks or men's gymnastics unless the pommel horse is uses as a "pummel" horse. Ever.
SEAN..............
