[smashtime]

Man walks into a bar and oders a cocktail. Before he can take a drink a monkey comes over and dips his balls in it.

The man motions to the bartender and says,"That monkey just dipped his nuts in my drink. Can I get another?"

The bartender says,"Sure, but you gotta be quick."
But, once again, the monkey manages to stir the libation with his sack.

"Dammit. Who's monkey is this?" Says the man at the bar.
"I don't know", says the bartender," you may wanna check with the piano player."

So the man walks over to the piano player and says, "Do you know the monkey that keeps dipping his balls in everyone's drink?"

"I don't know," says the piano player. "Why don't you hum a few bars. Maybe I can fake it."

 

[smashtime]

What do you call a guy floating in the ocean with no arms and no legs?

Bob.

Hanging on the wall?

Art.

Waiting on the front porch?

Matt.

 

[smashtime]

1. Teaching Maths In 1970

A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the selling price.
What is his profit?


2. Teaching Maths In 1980

A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the selling price, or £800.
What is his profit?


3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000.
His cost of production is £800.
Did he make a profit?


4. Teaching Maths In 2000

A logger sells a lorry load of timber for £1000.
His cost of production is £800 and his profit is £200.
Your assignment: Underline the number 200.


5. Teaching Maths In 2008
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is totally selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.
He does this so he can make a profit of £200. What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic ! for clas s participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.
If you are upset about the plight of the animals in question counselling will be available)


6. Teaching Maths 2018

أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانتاج من> الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟

This joke is hilarious but also kinda sad at the same time. :horse:

 

[smashtime]

Jokes make me laugh,i like laughing. :d: opcorn:

 

[smashtime]

You're going to hell for that, John.

yeah but that first one had me rolling. unfortunately some of the teachers I work with didn't think the joke was that funny. Maybe they felt a little guilty for something....

 

[smashtime]

:d: